A window into the past

Oh snaps! You have come across the LJ of a crackhead. :O

I used to be friends only, now I'm just a mix of friends and public post. =D Why? Cuz I often forget to post friends only and am too lazy to go back and change all my stuff. So add me for FULL CRACKHEAD COVERAGE!!

FUCK!!! Goddamn projects and finals are just fucking stacked right on top of me.

This week I have 3 projects due, and one of them is a group. Of course, those asshats were stressing me out because for the longest time no one emailed me. (I'm doing the powerpoint) It was REALLY stressing me out because I am always the one to get screwed over in group projects. Just fucking fuck, I hate group projects SO MUCH.

Then my bro finally came home so he's back to living with us. But then last night he just stayed in the room and fucking talked on the phone the whole time. I DID NOT FUCKING SLEEP AT ALL. And of course Mondays are the days I have an 8am class.

THEN my mom fucking calls me to bitch about some irrelevant bullshit and I'm just like, "get the fuck off my back, I don't need this shit right now." All she was doing was yelling and I kept asking "What do you want?" But she refused to answer the question and just kept bitching about some shit so I hung up. I have a voicemail from her but I'm not gonna listen to it.

Fucking.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.

Fuck you school and life and all this fucking bullshit. I am tired, stressed, and pissed off all at once.

I really DO NOT NEED this shit.

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA SUPREME COURT.

This is bullshit! The judicial branch is supposed to PROTECT THE MINORITIES FROM THE TYRANNY OF THE MAJORITY. This is fucked up. The damn religious zealots are fucking oppressing homosexuals and the judicial branch basically upheld this.

This is AMERICA, we are SECULAR. There is no secular reason to oppose gay marriage!! There just ISN'T!! But no. These bigots just have to oppose their will on others and I hate it.

ARGH!1 What's next? Shouldn't we give gays their own water fountains? I mean, since they're obviously not 1st class citizens or anything like that.

I am just so angry.

It is a dark day in California, and I am ASHAMED that I live here.

I am also going to a rally in Downtown LA tonight.

Civil disobedience, yeah!

You know, I actaully really hate this LJ.

Actually, I don't think it's this journal, I just hate the whole LJ site in general. Why? Because it brings up old memories of friends that I am no longer in contact with and I fucking hate it. It just makes me horribly depressed.

What's sad is I'm too much of a pussy to drop an e-mail but I constantly update my contact info, just on the off chance that someone decides to drop me a line. This doesn't happen, but oh well.

This entry really has no point to it and I really don't expect anyone to read it.

Oh well.

I suck.

I have no idea why I am signed in or why I am updating.

Weird.

Happy Halloween, to those celebrating it.

I have caught up on some LJs and am rather proud of myself. =) I had 2 midterms this week so school should be calming down a bit and I should stop being so dead.

I honestly hate all holidays. They make me depressed.

I've been texting Rob all day, and that has helped a lot to keep me from feeling lonely. He makes me laugh so much.♥ Except now he's gone to sleep while I'm still up, waiting for today to end. I almost asked him not to go, but I didn't want to impose on him. Or make him worry. I got hit by a car yesterday, (more like a nudge) and when I told him, he sort of freaked. I guess it's good to know he cares.

I honestly hate all holidays. Really, I do.

O <('.'<) M <( '.' )> G (>'.')>

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES (AKA striderexile)!!!!!!!!!

UGH. Tons of homework this weekend. Today my brother also has another one of his court hearing thingies, but I couldn't go cuz of school. =(

Also, my phone has been ringing off the hook today. o.o A lot of restricted calls, but I'm pretty sure I know who it is...LOL. Ok, this is going to make me look like a total bitch. But whatever.

Ok, there's this guy who texts me AND HE IS SO FUCKING BORING. Like, he'll text and he'll be just quoting some dumbass youtube video or something. (Have any of you seen "Old Greg"? He once sent me the whole dialogue through texts.) Or he'll be like, "I'm bored. Ryan, tell me something funny. =D" UGH. I've finally reached my breaking point.

Enter "Jeff".

Jeff is this guy I made up to try and convince him that I've changed my number and that he should stop texting. When I normally text, I do it properly, (like I'm typing right now) but when I'm Jeff, it's nothing but, "Wtf nigga u got da wrng shyt fkn stp txt".
...
Ok mean, but whatever. I CAN'T FUCKING STAND HIM ANYMORE.

Anyways, I'm lookin forward to the VP debate tonight. I'm really curious to see how Palin is going to handle herself. =D

Also, I have finally found a way to get the conversations about news and politics that I so CRAVE. (All my friends find it boring and hate when I try to talk about it. =() Sadly, the only way I'm able to talk about politics and religion with people is through the internet. =( Ah well. Good enough. =D

P.S. today I almost won a gift card thing from "Reading America". But because I'm 19, I had to have a full-time job in order to qualify for it. Poo.

October is this wednesday.
How the hell did that happen?!?!

Edit: Cuz I have mas to say. =D

Lolz, I'm ditching my work out thing to hang with Gilby. =D (He's such a bad influence!) Ocean lab was, once again, a pain in my ass. It always causes me to think. My prof. gives little instruction and everyone at my table is dumb. So I have to be the one to figure all the shit out or everyone at my table is screwed. =/ Very stressful, especially because I have REALLY crap math skills. (I re-check my work at least 5 times to make sure I didn't screw up.)

Also, Rob is a little mad at us. =( ("us" being me and Gilby) OK cuz, we call him Robbie-Poo so that's how I addressed him in the letter. His parents saw it and are now giving him a hard time. I'm not gonna lie, when he told me this I busted up laughing. XD But I think it is beginning to annoy him. =( Sniff, I don't like Robbie-Poo being angry with me. </3 I sent him a Hannah Montana phone charm, and he did put it on his phone, though. So I know he hearts me a bit. =)

Today is going to be a great day! Why? For the nerd-tastic reason that I got all my Stephen Hawking books through the library today. YESS!! Ok. So what if this means I have to read 5 books at the same time? I can do it.
...
I KNOW I can. Stupid college....riding my ass...

New Gossip Girl and Terminator tonight. YES!!1

I have to read 2 books before 8pm.

I CAN DO IT!!11

Amusing fact of the day: my brother, (who is 17) is saying that this girl, (who is 18) is his fiancee. All of this during court where she could get arrested.

loooooooooool

Unfortunately, this week was nothing but exams and in-class essays so I couldn't miss school to go to his court things. Good thing too cuz I NEED to bitchslap some mother fuckin' sense into him. MARRIAGE?!?! IS HE FUCKING INSANE??!?!??! #%&%$@#@@!#$%^*@#$#!!1

Another amusing fact: because it's not enough that the house where he was staying was full of all those stolen guns (two of which were stolen from probation officers) and stuff, but in true California fashion, it turns out that one of the guys involed is an illegal immigrant.

loooooooooool

So they're trying to pin everything on my bro since he's a minor and an American citizen. (They figure he'll get off easier.)

Mother fuck. It's like a goddamned circus. I'm just waiting for some chick to walk in with a 2yr old child, DEMANDING that my brother go on Maury with her for a paternity test. I swear to you, I can see this happening.

In other news, I NEED a digital camera. =( I don't mind posting the pics from my phone but my mom gets all, "OMG ARE YOU SURE THEY'RE NOT CHARGING US FOR THAT?! I'M SURE THEY ARE!1" In which, she is probably right since phone companies are bastards and they want to rape you for all you're worth.

This weekend rocks since my homework load is so light. =) I've finally realized why college is hard this semester! =O I'm actually trying and I'm doing all of my homework!! AND I study on my free time.

What the hell is wrong with me? Where did Slacker Ryan go? Her life was less stressful <3....with mediocre grades....but less stressful

Man, I love not having school on Fridays. <3

Surprisingly, I am not procrastinating doing any schoolwork. I even printed out all of my professors' handouts! =O Something I NEVER do! (I always forget. -_-) I still have a massive pile of homework and reading to do...ugh.

Well, on Wednesday, after avoiding the long arm of the law for I dunno how long, they finally picked my brother up. He was hanging at the mall with his friends. I dunno, there was some comfrontation or something. SO he had court today and yesterday and they're gonna figure out what they're going to do with him. He turns 18 next month so I'm wonderin if they're gonna give him jailtime or something. Either that or he'll have to go back to juvi for sure. I dunno...

Background: my bro is um...I dunno, he's always had trouble following the rules. I think he's been arrested like 5+ times, been in juvi 3 times, has countless hours of probation...sigh. Well, they picked him up because he ran away from "Options". Options is like this group home type of thing the state has going. They force you to go to school, take care of your probation, PLUS they give you allowance. And they'll just take the guys out for movies, I mean, it was a pretty sweet hookup. But noOOo, my bro NEEDS his fucking shithouse friends that are always rolling in their stupid-gang-banging-drug-selling-stealing SHIT. Ugh...I mean, the place where my bro was staying was full of tons of guns and stolen shit. TYPICAL.

Apparently there's more to the court, but my mom was trying to explain it to me over the phone, so yah. I didn't hear a word she said.

I have no idea why people call me. I space out and then they get all, "OMG, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!?!" Of course I lie and say that I am. THEN I get, "OH YAH?!?! THEN WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!!" Fuck me. They should know by now: Text me. Only call in case of emergency. KTHXBIE.


Stole this from sylvysparrow. FUCKING AWESOMNESS.

Finally: Ugly Betty and Supernatural = ♥

If anyone cares, my subject is a quote from Socrates: "Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders, and love chatter in places of exercise. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers."
I felt that it fit.

Updating because I am procrastinating making a post for my philosophy class. Yah, we do this yahoo group thing where we're supposed to post and talk amongst ourselves. It doesn't happen, but eh. Sounds good I guess.

I also sent out my letter to Rob yesterday. =D Exciting since I've never mailed a letter before. (Haha, how lame am I?) I don't know anything about proper stamp usage so I just stuck 3 on there and hopefully that gets it from Cali to Alabama. Also, 3 stamps cost $1.80. I was like wtf. But now my friend Gilby is calling me dumb, cuz APPARENTLY, that means I bought 1st class stamps. Wtf, there are different kinds of stamps? NO ONE TELLS ME THESE DAMN THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!111

Also: yesterday's House > season premiere. What's up with that? And, House's new Wilson is cute but, omg, O.G. WILSON, SAY IT ISN'T SO?!?!?!

Now here's a meme thingy from mixtapecrushes. Fill it out or not. Whatevs. <3
( Meme )

Who the hell thinks they can just wave this shit around in liberal, lovely cali and not have people yell at them? Lol these guys were a riot though, they were even playing bag pipes!! XD I asked what the bag pipes were for and the guy shrugged and said, "Oh, they're just for attention."

Yah. Because those big ass banners just aren't enough. Cuz I am respectful of your friend's page <3

( Yay, crappy camera phone pics! )

Don't ask me why, but I just wanted to play reporter for a day. It was fun. =D I'd love to post the videos I took but I'm pretty sure my mom would kill me. =( (Verizon charges up the ass!)

Gilby and I are sending a letter to Rob filled with anthrax love to remind him that we still <3 him, even though he's in Alabama.

In other news: I know I've said this before but, college has been busting my ass lately. Man, what's up with that? =( And now I have to figure out what I want to do, because I don't know what that is. Even though I'm 19. No. That doesn't freak me out at all. -_-

TO STUDY FOR OCEANOGRAPHY, AWAY!!!!!

Ugh, I only watched the emmys for three reasons, AND THREE REASONS ONLY: Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and Steve Carell. They were brilliant last year, but, unfortunately, Stewart and Colbert's bit was short. Which is a crime since they are like the funniest people there.

Highlight of last night:



AWESOMEST SHIT EVER! Gervais = full of win. I just love when he starts kicking Steve. The video quality is kind of poor, but Steve keeps a perfect straight face through the whole thing. Fucking awesome.

Ugh, two essays, a paper, and a take home quiz due tomorrow. FUCK MY LIFE. (I have finished a good chunk of all that, of course.)

Man, college got hard all of a sudden. =(

I also love David Tennant! =D

HAPPY AUTUMN EQUINOX TO ALL!!! Summa is officially OVA!!1

Yesterday my hamster, Scribbles, died. =( Idk why, but he had been refusing to eat. I thought it was the new food so I went back to the old brand, but he still didn't eat. He always loved vegetables so I tried feeding him every kind that we had in the fridge. Still nothing. He was also having problems walking and keeping his balance. My mom said he was like an old man. Hamsters don't live long, I guess. =(

So, yesterday when I got home he was half on his wheel, half off it, and he was pretty cold. Poor lil guy shook with every breath he took. Until he just stopped. At least he waited to die til I got home. I loved that lil guy. <3

Anyways, I wanted to have a viking funeral, (light a shoe box on fire and watch him drift off into the ocean) but everyone is all, "Are you sure that's legal? Won't you get in trouble for that sort of thing?" Ugh. Fine. I'll just bury him them. I suppose I'll do it sometime today since it's so weird to see him lying in his cage like that...

I was genuinely upset about it all, luckily Rob consoled me through text messages. Rofl, he always makes me laugh about the most stupid things. XD <3 Rob.


RIP Scribbles, you were a good hamster and my mom and I totally spoiled your fat ass. <33

Now I'm off to spend my weekend doing ASSLOADS of homework. Ugh. Fucking college.

I REEEEAAAALLLY should be writing my essay that's due tomorrow...
Sigh. It's only the beginning of the semester and I am already sick to DEATH of writing.

But, in awesome, fantastic news, I found fabulous podcasts for my Zune. (that's right, I don't have a iPod) So now I have like, old time radio dramas, the newest science news, and This American Life. Plus all this video shit I found on science and astronomy. SO AWESOME!!

Then, my oceanography prof. is gonna give us some ex. cred for going to lectures on science and stuff. MORE AWESOMENESS. Specially since I would probably have just done that on my own anyways. =P So yay!

Then, Gilby and I have decided to do this package deal thing and go to Knott's Scary Farm together. You get like a 2 night stay in a hotel, tickets, AND they supply you with food. All for $209. SO EXCITED. I have never been to Knott's Scary Farm in my WHOLE life since I have never found anyone to go with me. =(

...
Ok. I am going to start my essay now.
...
Any second now...

Btw, the House season premiere wasn't as awesome as expected. =( OMFG, if Wilson leaves the show, I swear I will stop watching. FUCK AMBER, I hated her anyways.

Did you guys know that when you're looking up at the night sky, what you're actually seeing is the past?

The light from stars takes millions of years to reach our little eyes. Even traveling at the speed of light, (186,282 miles per second) it takes that long. So by the time it has reached us, that star could have already died.

Isn't that amazing? Those stars could already be dead, yet we see them as alive.

Yah, I've been incredibly interested in the world around us lately and am doing TONS of reading.

Next I'm going to learn about string theory.

Science. <333

HIATUS

Yah, I know. As if you care.

Haha, that is my new favorite word. =3 It was on 2 and half men last night AND HILARIOUS.

Squab. *giggle*

19 MORE DAYS UNTIL SCHOOL STARTS!!!!! WOOT!!!!!!1 Omg I can't wait! I'm so excited!! >.< I'm gonna be taking, oceanography, ocean lab, marine bio, english, and philosophy. And to think, this time next year I'll be getting ready to transfer to a UC. =D LIFE IS GOOD!!11 (Unless I majorly screw up some of my classes, but that seems HIGHLY doubtful. =3)

Then, turns out my bro has runaway from his options home. =/ He got expelled from his school and his probation officer told him that he might have to go back to juvi. The thought of going back to juvi is what made him run. =/ But he has MILLIONS of friends, so I'm not worried. I know he's being well taken care of. =3

Also, I think I'm just gonna leave my LJ public. I constantly forget to post friends only anyways. XD Am I going to take down my FO banner or unlock my entires? No. Know why? Because I am lazeh. =P

Squab. =D

2 HOUR EPISODE OF SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE TONIGHT!!! YES!!!!!!!!111 =DD

^That is bascially how the earthquake felt today. I've lived in southern cali my whole life and this 5.4 was the biggest quake I've felt in years. The house swayed and everything. It was pretty fun. =3

But, for whatever reason, cell phone reception dropped. I was trying to call my mom and text my friends but nothing was getting through. =/ It was all over the news too how cell phones everywhere weren't working.(Glad it wasn't only me. XD) My phone acted funky for like 3hr, which sucks since I am a texting whore. D: My mom also wants me to switch phone companies to Metro PCS. I don't really care except I really love my phone. D: Unless I somehow upgrade to some godly full keyboard phone...hmm....

Also, some bastard has been constantly calling my phone with a restricted phone number. -_- AND THEY NEVER SAY A DAMN WORD!!!!!!!11111111 Ugh. I know it's one of my friends screwing with me, but I dunno who. ~_~ SO ANNOYING!111 So I am currently in the works of trying to think of something random and funny that will cause them to laugh and give away their identity. MWAHAHHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111 >=3

Side note: GODDAMN THE MEDIA. NOT ONLY DID THEY CAUSE THE TYRA BANKS SHOW TO NOT COME ON (SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!1) BUT THEY DID THEIR BEST TO BE OVERDRAMATIC. It was like they were just LOOKING for horrific damage and seemed dissapointed when they couldn't find any. Plus whenever they interviewed someone who thought of the earthquake as "no big deal" they did their best to try someone overdramatic. MEDIA: YOU MAKE ME SICK.
...
But seriously, I was really looking forward to today's Tyra. ='(
WHY WORLD?!?!?! WHHHHYYYYYY?!?!?!?

The 4th of July is this Friday!!!! Omg I'm so excited!!!!111 XDD I absoultely love LOVE LOOOOOVVVVVE, fireworks! They're so sparkly and pretty. *__* Unfortunately, my mom has denied my request to obtain illegal ones. D: Which, I dunno why, I mean, we smuggled them from Mexico once. She should really let up!
But, as a consolation, there's this awesome ass firework show ON THE BEACH, that we're gonna go to. OMG YAY!! >.<

Rofl...I know this is really bad, but, I've been watchng a lot of crap television lately. Last night it was America's Got Talent MY GAWD, YOU GUYS. This chick used her GINORMOUS tits to crush a full 6 pack of beer!11 Rofl at David Hasslehoff...Sigh, I really neeed to find something better to do. And by watching Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? I lost faith in America. This guy, who graduated from a university with a degree in philosophy, did not know what a proper noun was. Oh, that show...I just can't bear to watch it...you make me weep, America. D: FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, PICK UP A BOOK!!!!!!

As for the title of my entry...lol, I dunno. It's from the song I'm listening to and it's stuck in my head. XDD

O (>'.')> M <( '.' )> G <('.'<)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEVIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You're old. =D

LOL J/K J/K <33

Yes, I am only updating because there is a long ass fucking patch on Maple Story and I got tired of having my ass handed to me on Gunz. -_-

Yes, I am a girl who loves video games. Get over it. =P

Anyways, as you all may/may not know, Monday was my birthday. It was very fun indeed. =D Of course, to me it just felt like a normal day, YET, I felt that if people didn't do things for me then I would get seriously pissed. But they did. My loving friends remembered my birthday 3 days prior to it, and therefore threw together some inpromtu shit.

So they bought me lunch and then we had to decide what to do next. Of course there were the suggestions of going to a casino, (you only have to be 18 to gamble in california) strip club, or porn shop. Luckily, we did none of those things and opted for miniature golf and movie. Miniature golfing was a lot of fun, except it was very humid. D: So by the time we finished it was around 10:00pm, the night was still young! But, alas! Since my b-day was on a Monday, everything good was closed and we didn't feel much like a movie.

So what did we do? We went to a hookah bar. LMAO. My brother would be so proud. It was actually very relaxing. They had these comfy stoner couches and it was the most laid back shit ever. Yah, we all coughed since we're all noob to that shit, but eh. It was alright. I ordered cherry, vanilla, and coconut for my flavors while the asian got all this citrus stuff. No one wanted to smoke his hookah lol. BUT OMFG WE WERE FUCKING STARVING AFTERWARDS. Taco Bell $1 menu ftw. Got a whole bunch of shit for less than $10. We decided that we should go back at least once a month since it is REALLY relaxing. And it's only $11 a hookah for as many flavors as you want. So yah. Randomness. Oh, and we left there at like 1am or something lolz.

Also, I am moving back in with my mom. I thought I could do this all on my own, but I can't. I've having financial issues so yah. Plus it'll only be for a year, then I'll just live on campus in dorms and such. I just hope I can deal with my mom and her friends CONSTANTLY, CONSTANTLY trying to shove their religion down my throat. OH MY GAWD YOU GUYS, we went to her friend's house, and THAT FUCKING CUNT TRIED TO CONVERT ME FOR FUCKING 7 GODDAMN HOURS. Omfg...
After 5 hours I finally lost my patience of sitting there quietly and started copping some fucking attitude. Yah, I did it. AND WHAT?? Fucking bastard asses never leaving me alone...I mean, COME ON, I don't fucking force my views onto you or point out all the flaws in your reasoning do I? No. I just let you be. SO GET THE FUCK OFF ME.
Omfg, AND she was racist, and homophobic and all this shit. I just wanted to reach across the table and bitchslap some sense into her. -_-

Oh, also, I am not a saint. I did not just sit there and listen for the whole amount of time. She disregarded my time and patience, so I disregarded having to listen. If I did not have my cell phone and friends who were constantly texting me, I'm sure I would have thrown myself out a window. Text messaging has saved me from dying of boredom more times than I can count. <3

lol mini rant.

P.S. I have been a mega myspace whore as of late. So if you haven't already, ADD MEH!!!1

"Fredric Baur dreamed up the original Pringles can. Now he's buried in one."

Awesome.

Read all about it here: Lolz

Also, keeping up with the news, so Obama pretty much won the primaries. Haha Clinton, serves you right for all that pandering. This election is going to be exciting. I'm glad I can vote. =3

Working on getting this LJ up and running again. :P

Gave blood today.

My arm hurts.

Ow.

Yah I'm unadding every to make it so that this LJ is only for my real-life friends since they bitch at me to get on LJ and such. D:

If you REALLY want to stay for whatever reason then comment. I'm probably still gonna be a crappy commenter but meh. I'm better about messaging and commenting back on myspace. :P

It was fun while it lasted. <3